Chapter Six

Findhorn, September 1973
We went inside the great sprawling building and upstairs to the third floor ballroom. There was no lift, so we climbed the stairs with half a dozen others. George took my hand, zooming us up into the ethers. In the ballroom there were chairs in a circle, blankets, pillows, and snacks at the back. We sat down and Marian, the focaliser – a girl with short brown hair and a Dutch accent - came over and gave him a hug. She was one of his 'Findhorn girls' I saw, in an unwelcome flash.
'George!' she said with a sparkling glance. 'Nice to see you! You're doing this again.'
'With my wife,' nodded. 'This is Claire.'
She turned to me, benign and warm. 'Ohh... Welcome! It's so good to have you here.' She gave me a long, melting hug that was completely sincere. We breathed together in peace for a moment. 'Beautiful,' she said, smiling.
'I hope you both have a breakthrough,' she wished, and glanced at me again. She thought me lucky. She had been disappointed that their tryst was a one-off, but was over it. She saw that I heard, and smiled a little. I had never been terribly clairvoyant, and the telepathy of the place was unnerving. If I could hear, so could they. There would be no privacy of thought. When Marian had gone back to the head of the room, I told George all this in a low voice. He laced his fingers through mine.
'It can be a fishbowl,' he agreed in hushing tones. 'But most people don't come here as sensitive to it as you. But it will be okay. No one's going to get in your face about anything the first day.' That wasn't exactly encouraging.

The workshop began and lots of people had notepads and pens; Marian said that they could use them, but it was preferred that they make the workshop experiential. There would be a packet at the end of discussion materials and terms. We didn't have writing material, and I hadn't even thought of it. George knew all this backward and forward; why did I need notes?
The first two hours were given over to a discussion of the schedule for the week and an introduction to the terms and process. Marian said,
'The purpose of this workshop is to reveal the truth despite individual personality masking and making most people dysfunctional and evasive because of their individual perspectives with which they limit themselves relatively narrowly, compared to the open honest knowing given freely by God, if we join with Him in holy union to become a Community of Love. I am not your teacher; God is your teacher. I'm just here to direct traffic.' There were laughs.

'Personality is a dynamic mask of inner chatter with which you can "divide your self”. By Word Power we are given that we can write from the acronym “dysfunctional” an expanded form to see “divide your self from understanding now communication through image offered now allowing Love”. In this context Love is our Telepathic Exchange and Higher Self also known as God, our Father, Allah, Krishna and other hallowed names. Love the noun has a capital L while the verb is a small l unless at the beginning of a sentence and both mean “Light of verity exchange” Light in that context is “Letting in good healthy thought”.

'Dysfunctions are set up by letting in emotion giving opposite, that is, letting in ego, that is, lie, creating an unconscious blind spot or a conscious facade. Both are denials of the spirit of truth given by Love that cause illness, that is, “image lacking Love now element seeing spirit” and make you sick in mind and body. That is, “seeing image cannot know”, and wrong, “Word rejected or not given” and that causes mind problems that are reflected in your body. It is your responsibility to make due enquiry, obtain a diagnosis and correct lies to open your mind by becoming rigorously honest to heal your body-mind.'

Ah, here was the 'how' of George's phenomenal honesty and transparency. When I whispered to him about Marian, he neither denied nor flinched that I knew they had been lovers; it was true. It was past. And if there was a problem with that, it was mine.... And yet, he admitted being possessive of me. Was this a contradiction? I considered this. He admitted it, and I could accept it or not. I looked, and decided it really didn't bother me. Marian was now saying,
'Knowing is original thought given by the Word with Love in the form of wakeful dreams in a thought process of basic thinking, which means being a spirit in communication to hold image now knowing image now given. In this context, Love is the Giver Of Dreams, that is, God who is our Telepathic Exchange, which and who is an intelligent star network that gives us one set of innate intelligence available to all, all of the time for consultation as free intuition given by our highest Self which is our role as Father when we take the role of Son, Servant Of Now. With many good sons serving our highest Self we become a community of Love.

'In basic thinking there are eight well-defined steps that allow us to be given The Real Understanding That Helps (TRUTH) because THAT is The Half Allowing Thought and ALLOWING is A Love Link Of Word Image Now Given. What is REAL is Received Energy And Love with SPIRIT, Seeing Power In Realizing Image Thought. That POWER is Presence Of Word Element Received, which gives us subtle energy. It breaks down when we let in EGO, Emotions Giving Opposite, that is, LIE. A lie infects our held thoughts of MEMORY, Mind Elements Made Of Repeating Your Self and it can become a BAD HABIT, Being Awful Dream Having A Built In Thought. The way to overcome bad habits is the WAY, Word Advising You. The steps are: -

- Actively Seek Knowing (ASK).
- To Reach A New Seeing Community Element Now Drawn (TRANSCEND).
- Record Elements Communicating Elements In Verity Expression (RECEIVE).
- Draw Image Forming Function Expressing Relative Elements Now Thought And Thought Expressed (DIFFERENTIATE).
- God's Image Verity Express (GIVE).
- Draw Elements Seen Communicating Entering New Dream (DESCEND).
- Review Elements Communicated On Love Link Entering Collected Thought (RECOLLECT).
- Image Now Thought Elements Given Relationship And Thought Expression (INTEGRATE).'

The writers had stopped writing, and many of them were shaking the cramps from their hands. Marian went on:
'The process of basic thinking can break down at any misstep, or disorder causing CHAOS, Cannot Hold An Orderly Seeing. Consider the eight missteps, the dysfunctional behaviours formed from pairs of them, which introduce MASKING, Mind Actively Stopping Knowing Image Now Given. Masking causes you to set up complex impedance to the flow of love: -
- Image Now Told Elements Required Repeatedly Offered Giving A Thought Offered Repeatedly (INTERROGATOR).
- A Locking Off Of Feeling (ALOOF)
- Presentation Of Own Requirements My Elements (POOR ME).
- Form Of Loyalty Linking Other With Own Elementary Rules (FOLLOWER).
- Letting In A Bias In looting in To You (LIABILITY).
- Worried Image Now Given Expressing Relationship (WHINGER).
- Memory Of A Nasty Element Repeated (MOANER).
- Image Now Tendered Into Mind In Doubt And Thought Offered Repeatedly (INTIMIDATOR).
The aim of masking is to avoid facing up and accepting a past event or taking advantage of those who do not know.

'The commercial value of having minds in doubt to make offers to is enormous to those in marketing who know most people think of them Selves, SELVES are Separate Elements Lacking Verity Element Sets. Selves are made when you lie and are Dividing Your Self Forming Understanding Now Connecting Thought Image Now Given Allowing Love (DYSFUNCTIONAL). The way to divide your Self is to let in ego and unconsciously or consciously chatter about it in a loop made up of a series of held causal statements which you have entered into your subconscious memory to guide your self.

'There are four windows of realization, where you look at your Own self, Others, Incomplete Real Logic and a MYSTIC-IMAGE, Mind You See Through Image Conversation-Impulses Make A Good Element. You have a choice of four types of Mystic Image with which to supplement your Incomplete Real Logic. They are: -

- The Word, which is, with God, our Father and root of the family tree and a wise and trustworthy friend.
- Our old self as a child.
- Others who we follow out of Love or fear.
- Our personal selves which we created with ego, either to avoid facing up to some things by masking or chose to use to take advantage of others, who do not know what we know.

'The fourth choice causes us to hold on to PROBLEMS, Past Reading Of Being Locking Elements Mind Sets. The masking and denial acts like this: -

- See having A Dream Of Worst (SHADOW).
- Present Emotional Reasons Seeing Opposite Not Allowing (PERSONA).
- Argue what you believe to be right, Ignore or condemn and abuse those that oppose it, even those who offer Love because you are loyal to what you have been taught or your own ego's views of shadows that hold you into denial, anger and depression in that order until you move into acceptance with forgiveness and so on to recovery.
'The eight dysfunctional attitudes delay the recovery from a crisis and cause four inappropriate behaviours: -
- A Rude Rejection Of Given And New Communication Elements (ARROGANCE) happens when an intimidator succeeds to influence a follower.
- Form Ego And Resist (FEAR) happens when an interrogator jumps into liability without hearing or acting appropriately to receive knowing from the Word.
- Judging Elements As Lacking Over Understanding Seen Yourself (JEALOUSY) when a moaner decides they are a Poor Me.
- By Locking Off Communicating Knowing Image Now Given (BLOCKING) when an aloof person becomes a whinger.
Or you can use the WAY, Word Advising You and LIFE, Let Image Form Elements.'

There were huge sighs in the room, many of them despairing. I looked at George, and he smiled. Don't worry, the look said. It will all come simply and easily. I was very glad he was there.
Marian now asked us to do a meditation, considering what our ultimate goal or orientation was for this life. She advised that there was no right or wrong answer, only ours, only our listening to God. The room quietened, people settled in, and George and I held hands as we each went within.
What came to me was 'integration' – it was not an image, or an intellectual decision, but a quiet whisper from a disembodied voice. As a child, I had been taught to pray to my guardian angel. I wondered if this was what was speaking to me. You may call us that if you wish, it said.
We were called back into the room, and were told to share with the person beside us what we got.
'Well?'
'Integration,' I said,' but I'm not sure what it means.'
George's hand was hot under mine. 'Did you get any images?'
'No, only a voice.'
'Ask it.'
I closed my eyes and asked, and was shown intersecting gyres.
'What does that mean to you?'
That was easier. 'Heaven and earth... Past and present. Present and future. Earth and spirituality.'
He pressed my hand, smiling. 'Very good!'
'...And you?'
He smiled his blissful smile. 'Transcendence!'
'Is that what you got before?'
'Yes. David says that our ultimate goal does not change, only the temporary ones.'
'What does it mean?'
'To live in bliss with God at every moment,' he replied without hesitation.
'Is that possible? War famine plague pestilence...'
He laughed. 'Yes, I think it is. Even with all that... If I dwell in God, then externals, however painful, are only aspects of the game, and do not touch my true self. I experience them, but they do not own me.'
I wasn't sure about that, nor something else: 'I'm not sure I believe in God,' I murmured. 'Not the God of the Church, anyhow, demanding joyless obedience and sending souls to Hell and Purgatory for being human.'
He nodded, with a keen look. 'I know, I didn't either. But you'll see.' He looked up as Marian rang a little tinkling glass bell.
'Thank you everyone, for sharing. We'll go on to the next question now: What is your greatest obstacle to your ultimate goal? You can begin your meditation when you are ready.'

Ah, this was a much harder question! What I got, I knew was true, and I didn't like it. It would have been easy to block it, but that would have shut down the whole game, and with it, these first steps into a kind of relating which was meant to be the foundation and touchstone of our marriage. Besides, other people were sobbing. I was just uncomfortable. I had a choice to make, I knew, as we were called out of the meditation, and everything else from this point depended on how I responded: I could trust George with the worst of myself, as he had trusted me, and everything that went with that, or I could relate on a superficial level of sex, gratitude and affection.
He was looking at me steadily, and I took a deep breath.
'This is really hard,' I said.
He pressed my hand. 'I know.'
I took another breath and plunged in, and once I began I couldn't stop the flow:

'What I heard was aloofness. And I didn't like that, because I like to think of myself as a loving person.... But it's so much easier to love humanity than people, and loving people—starting with my parents – is much harder. So it's easier to shut off all feeling and keep myself in my ivory tower- ' I laughed here, a bit hysterically, for I did have 'Rapunzel hair' – 'with books and music and dreams and ideals. If I don't let anyone in, they can't hurt me.' I was crying now, sobbing like the rest, and he put his arms around me. 'They were never accepting! They didn't believe in fairy tales, and scoffed at all my glittery pink dreams in cloud castles! When I was four, I spent a whole afternoon making a Sleeping Beauty castle and my mother came in and tore it up. She said I was not to waste my time and good paper on such rubbish. I was so confused and hurt and angry. I hated her! What had I done wrong? And it went on and on and on. With the nuns at school, with Jack. With Daddy... and I hated every one of them, especially Mother, and never forgave them for stomping on my dreams. I don't forgive them. I don't forgive anyone. I remember every detail of what they did and said. So I'm not peaceful and loving at all, nor present.'

I looked up at him, and he was crying too, with an aching tenderness and compassion. He smoothed my hair. 'Yes you are, little one. Yes you are!' he said fiercely. 'Behind the hurt, yes you are. Or I'd never have fallen in love with you.'
'I don't believe you.'
'Ach, you will, my lady. You will. I swear it. Before this week is done.' He put his arms around me again, and rocked me like a child until I felt calm again.
'This is so hard, and I feel so awful.' I murmured.
'I know. I know.' He held my hands. 'But I'm here.'
'Was it this hard when you did it?'
He nodded. 'Harder. I was a complete ass and totally stuck in arrogance and unforgiveness.'
'Even after est?'
He smiled a little. 'Yes.'
'How do I get through this? I want to be as open as you are to me. I don't want any barrier between us.'
'Oh, Claire!' he kissed my cheek. 'Thank you, darling. As for how, you'll see.'
Marian rang her little bell again.
'Thank you, everyone. Thank you for your courage and openness to the experience. Now, before the break, I'd like us to do an attunement. Everybody hold hands with the person on either side of you, please.' We did and sank into a meditation like the one in the community centre. The energy in the room, chaotic and emotional before, became calm and roseate and peaceful. There were soft sighs and a couple of people fell asleep, which made everyone laugh.

When we broke for lunch, Marian came over and put her hands on either side of my face, full of tenderness.
'You are an angel, and much too hard on yourself,' she said, looking at me intently.
'I've told her that,' George said. Pillar Rock. Was it a life-habit? Being hard on myself so no one else could be?
She looked up at him, and back at me, nodding. 'Listen to him. He knows how beautiful you are. I love you, Claire. And God loves you.' She put her arms around me and gave me a deep hug.

We had lunch downstairs then went for a walk in the woods, to an old oak in the old stand between Cluny and the caravan park. At the back of this sprawling tree was an open space, a natural grotto, and we crawled inside. There was hardly room for one person, all arms and legs and six feet of him, but we sat in the tantric meditation pose and rested there, palm-to-palm, swaying a little in that beautiful juicy energy, until the world dissolved in a hum of bliss. The upward, spiralling energy came back to us, golden and warm.
'Time to go,' he said, softly, at last.
We crawled out again and he leant his head and hand against the old tree, then patted it and took my hand. As we walked up the hill, he said,
'That tree showed me the way, when I was first here. He asked me to bring you. And we have his blessing. He's very old; he's been there since the Picts.'
I looked back. It was a miracle it was still standing.

After the break, Marian asked people to share their experiences, and we spent the rest of the afternoon –four hours - doing that. Before closing for the day, she said,
'I want to leave you with some thoughts, to carry you over until tomorrow. We'll be working on How to clear your obstacles over the next two days, so it is important to remember what I'm about to say.
'Jesus was reported as saying they hated him because they hated the Father who takes away their cloak. Is it a cloak or mask or loyalty to past mistakes of your own personality or learned traditions? The outcomes are similar and can be overcome by using the WAY with Love. How can we do that? The simplest Way is Divination – dousing - where you put a pointer into your physical hand, ask a question and float into the highest Self to allow our Father to move you with thoughts received through your cells of soft tissue or glia which are magnetic cells sensitive to all invisible radiation which gives you radiesthesia, sensitivity to all invisible radiation. The process of communicating through our etheric magnetic field with our Image is called Radiesthetics. It is a kind of biofeedback. That etheric magnetic field is Love, our Telepathic Exchange. When you become adept in divination, it is simply a matter of asking and allowing the Word to show you a sign, if you believe and accept the SOUL, Spirit Of Understanding Love.

'You have free will to choose knowing instead of masking, but only if you have the courage and ethics to stand up for the right of all to know, that which is given by God, which is, for all to know and enjoy our way of life in a Community of Love. You may choose to be Gnostic, to Know.... The catch 22 is that if you are masking, you will not know how to know by meditation or Self Divination. That is why we need community and open communication, people who will tell us the truth about ourselves. To become a Community of Love we need a new enlightenment and Psychology to go beyond the traditional limitations and make knowing available to most people now. To get knowing we need to know how to activate allowing.

'Briefly, then, MASKING is Mind Actively Stopping Knowing Image Now Given. Being Agnostic is sceptical, unbelief and DOGMATIC, Denial Of God Mentoring All Through Image Communication. Dysfunctional thinking is caused by attitudes and behaviours affected by most, thinking of them selves with individual perspectives. The Modes of material nature are Passion and Ignorance. The agnostic will say that Spirits are spooks; that transformative Word Power is rubbish; that Scepticism is healthy and that open knowing, or gnosis, is not OK but childish belief of naivety and gullibility; that we are all entitled to and have a right to privacy in our own mind, space and our own business, when in fact, there's nothing that you can't know about the universe or other people because we're not discrete entities but one thing. The agnostic will say that it is all right to lie if you can get away with it because others have no proof and are too stupid to know how you take advantage of them; and that God is a dictator who cares for no one but Himself. That is their self-justifying projection.

'Gnosis, then, or knowing is Ken Now Of Word Image Now Given. Being Gnostic is knowing God now as an Image of Love and Mentor to all through image conversation, if only we believe we are all in Him and allow our self to have highest Self communication. Truly functional thinking is basic thinking to GET knowing as Given Elementary Thought and sharing it with and caring about others in a community of Love. The Mode of material nature is Goodness. Spirit is Seeing Power In Realizing Image Thought. Word Power is World Of Real Drama Presence Of Word Elements Received. Being OK is Open Knowing, which allows honesty and is GOOD, that is, Giving Others Our DELIGHT, and our Divine Element Letting In Good Healthy Thought.

We all have a right to know what each other has thought and thinks now. PRIVACY is Preventing Image Verity And Confining Yourself. But TRUTH is The Real Understanding That Helps and exposes lies so we may become rigorously honest and know when others try to deceive us. And finally, know that God is Love, with the Word, who is the spirit of truth. Thank you for being. Thank you for sharing. Have a beautiful and rest filled evening. And know that all is very well.' She smiled and gave us the hand mudra of blessing.
George turned to me. He was smiling.
'So can you believe in that God?'
I nodded.
'I think so.'

We were just in time for dinner when we got back to the caravan park, and this time we sat surrounded by Andy, Hamish, Joan and Andy's girlfriend Holly, who worked in the general goods shop. We were invited to the sauna party later in the evening.
'There are usually about a dozen of us or so,' Andy said.
George looked at me, 'Are you okay with that?'
I was really quite tired and stressed out, but I didn't want to disappoint anyone.
'Okay,' I said,' but I need some time just to be with you first. It's been rather a heavy day.'
I wasn't normally so frank in front of other people, and I did not miss George and Hamish exchanging glances. 'It's okay, darling,' George said,' that's what it's all about. We've all been through it.' Everyone nodded and murmured and I suddenly felt weepy. I wasn't used to emotional support from other people. George put his arm around me and kissed me.
'It's just like transition, sweetheart,' Joan said. I looked at her from this safe vantage, baffled. 'Labour,' she elaborated. ' – Everything is easier form here.'

We got back to the caravan and George pulled me into the bedroom, turning on the radiators along the way. 'Come on, baby, you're strung out.' I was sat on the bed like a child and undressed.
'Lie down now, there's a good girl.'
A long slow massage later, he stretched himself beside me and covered us with the quilt. I felt much more relaxed, and the comfortable familiar heat of him was welcome.
'Rest,' he murmured, as much a vibration as a sound in my ear.
When I woke an hour later, he was still right beside me, not reading or anything.
'How are you, cupcake?' He moved the hair from my face.
'Better.' I turned to him and he kissed me. 'Do you want to go to the party?' I asked.
'Not if you're not up to it. We've had so little sleep over the last week. It doesn't matter. You matter.' He nodded his head. 'They'll understand. Don't do anything – here or ever – that you don't want to do just to please me, Claire.'
Well that made me cry.
'Oh, sweetheart,' his voice broke. 'Shh shh shh. Come here,' I was rocked like a child.
'You are so valiant, darling,' he murmured. 'Oh, please don't. I don't have any expectations of you.'
'I know!' I blubbed. 'You're the only one who never has had any.'
'Ach,' he rocked with me until the crying jag was past. 'This is why I wanted to do this with you. Things always come up like this, once the door is opened.'

'I have something else to tell you,' I said, rather haltingly, from the safety of his embrace. 'Something I've - I've not told anyone-'
He breathed in the pause and his arms tightened round me. I had the feeling that he knew what I was going to say already. 'Go on,' he said softly.
'You remember what - what El said....How we - we were all of us up in Alaska, on Alberta, and - and were snowed in for several days in the McKay hut ...'
'Yes.' He sounded grim.
'Well, um.... Jack was with us... like we said.... and in the middle of the night, I woke up - It was freezing! But that wasn't why.... I woke up to find Jack next to me, he had unzipped my bag, and had his... leg thrown over me - ' I started shaking and almost couldn't find the voice to go on, but George was patting me, hardly breathing himself, and I took courage in that. 'He - he had m-managed somehow to ...' I took a breath, and the words all tumbled out unstoppably now, '...untie the string of my ski pants - not easy! - and had his hand up my puss. I was so shocked I could hardly move, my heart was hammering and I felt paralysed. I had a vague idea, a very vague idea what he was about, and opened my mouth. I wanted to scream, but nothing came out.... I thought it must be a bad dream.... He put his hand over my mouth and was cajoling - 'Come on, it's cold!' in a belligerant kind of way.... I bit him and he swore and I did start screaming then and that woke everyone.... Jack told them he tripped over me getting to the pot..., He gave me such a look when he said it... And I was too scared to tell them the truth.... I never did.... ' I shook my head vigourously and the tears came again... scalding. 'I never told them. I never told El.... I hate him! And he hates me, because I know his secret.... That's why he's so snarky...'

'Oh God, sweetheart,' George murmured, rocking with me. 'How old were you?'
'Twelve,' I said flatly. 'And he twenty-two.... I hate him. I hate him! My only brother, my guardian.... I hate him. I wish him every bad thing every time I see him.'
'O, baby....' He kissed me like a kissing a child. 'And this is why you were so innocent. It was fear. I knew it. I knew it. I could see it in your eyes. Feel it in your body, those first days. For you certainly aren't frigid!' I laughed a little at that.
'Thank you!'
He kissed me again, fiercely. 'You are safe with me. Absolutely safe. And I shall hate him for you, lady; by my troth, I here swear enmity against him if he is ever so much as rude to you....' He rubbed a hand over his face. 'God! What a monster.... He was MY age! Shit!' He shook his head, and sighed at last, absorbing it all. 'Thank you for telling me! Thank you for trusting me with this.... ' Then, 'we can work on it, if you like.'
'...What, now?'
He smiled. 'Yes, cupcake. Now.' He moved to sit up and face me. 'Give me your hands and close your eyes....' I did, and he began a process that got back to the incident without the emotion, that gave me my equilibrium back, both within myself as a person, as a sexual being, and with Jack. At the end of it I could handle him now, in my mind. And I had never loved George more.

We did go to the party, not so very late, and had a nice time sitting spooned together. I listened to the chat flow around us as he talked with everyone, catching up and making jokes. The whole while he kept his arms around me and held my hands, with little chaste kisses now and then. He was not given to demonstrations in public, and so while we did not speak much to each other, and his attention seemed elsewhere, in fact, there was not a moment that he was not completely present to me. Here with his closest friends, he showed his devotion openly. Hamish told me the next day in the breakfast queue that he knew by this that George had come into himself at last.

After breakfast we walked over to Cluny and in the workshop began to deconstruct mind-patterns and build up a system of communication between our conscious mind and our real self, and others, including other living things – animal, trees, plants, rocks, - and God itself.
Marian began by saying, 'Thank you, everyone, for being on time, and for being here.... You'll remember from yesterday that I said that Masking means Mind Actively Stopping Knowing Image Now Given, which causes mental blocks in your thinking process that cause a rift in that part of your total wellbeing which allows instinctive knowing. With instinctive knowing given by the Word, we can ask for and be given a diagnosis of your selves or any one else's selves in any relationship which specify existing or past dysfunctional attitudes in just minutes, giving you and/or them an opportunity to face up and accept and even change. Self-divination is the universal cure for masking. Now, to receive wisdom it is important we know how to activate allowing:
'HOW is Help Of Word.
TO is Thought Offering.
ACTIVATE is Accept Correcting Thought In Verity And Thought Expression.
ALLOWING is A Love Link Of Word Image Now Given.

'In telepathic exchange we have an etheric layer made of a universal magnetic field in which we are all immersed and through which we may communicate if we initiate the conversation to set up the Love link by ASKING, Actively Seek Knowing Image Now Given and changing our wavelength or rhythm of resonance to synchronize with and receive the Word at alpha rate. To HEAR we need to Hold Expression and Receive, which roughly means to shut up and LISTEN, Let Image Send Thought Elements Now. BELIEF, By Expecting Love In Every Function is a prerequisite for Finding An Image That Helps, that is, FAITH. If you will not keep your ego still it interferes with allowing which MASKS, Mind Actively Stopping Knowing Sets knowing. So here we are, at the beginning again.' She smiled.
'This mind-to-mind telepathic communication process is how we naturally function. We have all of the components so it is only a matter of knowing how to achieve intimate cooperation by all the parts communicating with the whole through our array of Glial cells. GLIAL is Giving Love In Allowing Link. Neuroglial cells surround the neurons of the brain, spinal chord and heart. The name is traditionally thought to have come from a Greek word for glue. Neuroglial cells traditionally have been thought of as a supportive framework for the neurons. The glial cells also perform many other important tasks. For example, certain neuroglial cells keep the brain free of injured and diseased neurons by engulfing and digesting them. Other neuroglial cells produce the myelin sheaths that insulate some axons. Research using cells grown in laboratories also indicates that neuroglial cells, like neurons, may transmit some nerve impulses.

'I will show you what neuroglial really means by Word Power, and how to activate allowing with neuroglial cells to enable knowing of the Word with Love through conversation with the universal magnetic field of the spirit of truth, also known as God, Our Father and the Holy Spirit: NEUROGLIAL means Now Element Using Reaction Of Given Link In Allowing Love.
GLIAL is Given Link In Allowing Love.
GIVEN is God's Image Verity Elements Now.
Then neuroglial cells allow conversation with God in signs and telepathic exchange, which is LOVE, Light Of Verity Exchange. PRAYER is Presenting Request Allowing Yourself Elementary Relationship.
'Now, if two people accept what is given by the same element it follows that they will agree. But that is not what happens most often out in the world. There are fundamental differences between the mystic images that different people hold in their mind sets to think with. When a person thinks, they reserve the right to disagree for personal or traditional reasons, consequently the image in their mind is not necessarily the same as our image as it was in the beginning at the top of the family tree when we were all one in our Father. As the family tree grew down, some persons chose to create a different image to suit their personal wants, for example Moses chose to represent God as a remote master who must be obeyed so that his followers would obey Moses when he spoke for God. Consider this: Say that I ask God why Robert is afraid to let God tell him what to do?'

Everybody looked at Robert, a sales manager from Manchester, and laughed.
Marian said, 'and I was given: -
Shadow: He is too powerful for my mind.
Persona: He can become master and control me if I let Him; denial is safer.
But Wisdom says that I am not a master, I am a Server and you may choose whether to be a Servant Of Now (SON) or not. Sometimes people refuse to obey and that is their right because they are given free will. It is up to us to show them the benefits of allowing instinctive knowing and acting appropriately. But free will is at the core of every action and interaction. With free will you may seek

'So, how do I know what God is saying to me? The simplest way of "Knowing" is through a dialogue between "your self" and "Our Self with God," which is Us. We as Word Elements are collectively an Understanding Set called Us. Now "your self" is you selecting your "seeing element life form". It has to be selective because "Our Self with God" is so vast. It is the Source of all things, called the Word, which makes all things both real and imaginary and that would overwhelm an individual trying to open up and take on too much. So we need not too much and not too little, which gives us the happy medium to satisfy your own needs and some for goodness to share with others.'
We worked on communication with Self first, identifying again the problem of yesterday, and looking at the inception of the problem – when its first occurrence was. I had already done that, so it was easy, but then we had to ask God what the answer was to get rid of it, and I encountered some difficulty there. It seemed too much like prayer and asking for a penance. George said,
'Prayer is only presenting a request and allowing yourself the elementary relationship with all that is. Let it in, baby. It won't hurt you. Allow it.'

I took a deep breath and nodded. Going inward, I got that the way to get rid of the problem of aloofness was to allow a love-link with the image of the person I was seeing – the word image given – to allow their personality to fall away and to see behind it to their essential being, their Godness. I was told that I had no need to fear other people, that I would be told if their personality meant me harm or not, when the circumstance arose. I told George this.
'Very good!' he smiled. 'You've got it. Now, how did it feel, what was it like?'
'It was like a quiet voice – nothing hellfire and brimstone at all,' I smiled.
'And you had an image?'
I nodded. 'Yes, of my mother. Her essential self is very different to Margaret.'
'It would be.'
It was important to be able to see beyond my mother's rather brittle personality and be able to forgive her for being so horrid to a child, but more important, for me, was being able to trust in the God of the universe.

We worked on the self-esteem problem as well, stemming from the incident with my mother, the feeling that something was wrong with me. It said,
'What you accessed early was the area of universal archetypes, or the Akashic record. The fact that you chose the Briar Rose was your own Self communicating that you were ready to live awakened in this life. When that was squashed, it caused a fundamental confusion. You know what your life-path is, but the data coming back told you that you were wrong. But you were not wrong. Look now, and see your essential self and listen to what it has to say –'

I looked, and found it was symbolised by Millais' Mariana, why I liked that painting – it was a radiant golden creature who shifted between being Mariana of the painting and a fuzzy blue and gold orb of light. Its task was to be a bridge of hope, between all persons and realms. I realised that this was what George saw, when he said I was 'pure', and that it was indeed beautiful, in a very elemental way. I told him all this, crying all the while.
'Now you see,' he said, gripping my hands. 'Now you see what I see.'
'Thank you!' So we were crying just like everyone else.

We all shared our insights with the group, and after that it was time for lunch. But we had an assignment. Marian said, 'Now that you've communicated with your own self and perhaps God, spend some time on the break listening to the plants in the garden, or the trees, or stones or brook.' We did, going back to the old tree and meditating. As we walked back to Cluny, everything seemed alive and speaking – the trees, the grass, the very air and earth itself. I felt very high.
George smiled. 'This is why I thought Findhorn was better than est, better than drugs. We really can live in this space without any artificial aids.'

When we got back, everybody was high, and very chatty. We spent the rest of the afternoon sharing our experiences. We were let to go early, and encouraged to spend some time in the gardens – or anywhere outdoors, to hear what came to us. At dinner, everyone at our table knew instantly what had happened, and remarked on the change.
'You seem so full of energy tonight, Claire,' said Holly. It was true.
'David says that when we live in this way, we need less sleep,' Hamish said thoughtfully. 'It's certainly true of him, and Peter.'
'And George!' I said, smiling.
Everyone laughed, and Andy groaned. 'Don't I know it! Better he's pestering you at two AM than me.'
There were hoots.
'You know what I mean,' said Andy, laughing.
'Yes, we do,' George smiled. He was not in the least upset about being teased about any of his nocturnal habits. There was music that night in the community centre – a wonderful jam, and we had a great time in the middle of it all, and got in about midnight.

The next day, at the workshop, we spent the day outdoors, practising communication at a distance, both with our partners and the group, and we played the Earth Ball game, which was a form of trust exercise with an immense beach ball of the earth. For the rest of the week we alternated between sessions indoors, exploring insights and working on problems, and outdoors communicating with each other and the various devas. There were also drumming and group circle dancing sessions to keep the energy up. On the last day, there was a snowfall. Being close to the Firth, it didn't lie on the ground very long, but there was a hard frost everywhere, so we stayed inside at Cluny and wrote up our reflections of the week, and talked about the experience overall and what we had learned. Marian also asked for suggestions, to be forwarded to the focal group, on how the workshop could be improved.

I felt that in fundamental ways I had been set free to much more fully be myself. I genuinely cared less what people thought of how I lived or what I did. And George and I could now communicate by thought alone, like lightning, which was very nice. I knew him and myself much better, and was not afraid to say anything to him. It was a good beginning for us, and well worth the crashing of the first day. That is what I wrote in the logbook for the workshop, and that is what I said to the group.